Looking Up.

Last Sunday, Aaron left for Aldama, Mexico with a group from Tenessee. They were gone for 6 days and came home last night. It is so nice to have him home! The boys missed him terribly! In fact, one evening I put Owen on the phone and he began to do that hyperventilating kind of cry. It was so pitiful and to die for cute! He would say, “I....love....you....Papa!” Everything was very staccato and between every word was hyperventilating/cry. I think it made Aaron feel pretty good and missed! After that, if I even mentioned “Papa” he would start in with the cry and I’d have to console him! 

With everything that’s been going on with Otto and trying different meds, me and the boys just barely survived the week. Only by the grace of God. In fact, Aaron asked if he could not go on this trip but they really needed him to go. I’m glad he did, from his stories, sounds like nearly everyone they ran into were divine appointments. He has some crazy stories about demons. Mexico has a lot of demonic presence and witch doctors. And even though this week was hard, it was a growth experience for me. Lots (I mean LOTS) of testing! And the funny thing? I can say now that it’s funny but at the time, it wasn’t....I have 2 friends with kids my kids’ ages and we planned to hang out a lot and even have Otto go over to play for a little break here and there. BUT...both of those households were sick with a nasty flu that’s had a lot of our staff sick! So I couldn’t hang out with them or send one of the kids over to play for like a little break. There was no reprieve! Only God! I could only rely on Him. (Plus, I called my mother-in-law at least twice a day!)
One reason this week was so difficult is because Otto’s 3rd medication we were trying ended up making him very sad. He was whiney or crying soooo much! The thing about the side effects of these medicines is that they gradually start showing up. So you don’t really notice it at first. Also every side effect he’s had has been a emulation of a issue he already has. So at first you really don’t notice b/c it’s something he’s always done anyway (anxiety, tics, whining/crying). By the time I’ve really noticed, they are so bad and I’m so at my wit’s end already! You know how when you’re in the middle of a situation it’s hard to see with clear, unbiased eyes what’s really going on? I called the dr on Wed and told him about the crying and he said it’s a side effect and to stop the medicine immediately. Then he also said that he’d like to refer us to a child psychiatrist b/c Otto’s is a complex situation. He said, “That’s ALL they do and it’s only part of what I do, so I’d feel more comfortable sending you there.” I feel really good about this decision and we go this next Thurs. I am very interested to hear what this dr has to say! So Otto is medicine free for now (no side effects!). AND AARON’S HOME! Life is good! Things are looking up!
This past week, Otto and I went to see a Christian counselor to begin play therapy for ADHD and anxiety. She was so wonderful! She was great with Otto and very encouraging to me! I needed that so bad too! She said she was a little surprised at his mental retardation label after observing him for almost the whole 1.5 hour session. She said he’s got to be just very borderline. I said, “I hope so!” She works a lot with ADHD kids and also abused and neglected kids, lots of kids in foster care. Otto played while we talked (this was our initial visit where she asks lots of questions, hears our story and our needs, and devises a plan of attack) and of course he acted up during this time and I had to discipline him. So she got to see all sides of him and how he and I interact. She was surprised how well he responds to me and listens (of course I didn’t think he was listening well! LOL!). She said she could tell how consistent we must be with him. At one point he picked up a toy and threw back his arm like he was getting ready to throw it at me and by his own will stopped and put his arm down. She said that she was shocked at that. That he had an impulse out of frustration to throw the toy at me but stopped, showed self-control, and did the right thing. She said that she sees ADHD kids with normal intellectual function (in other words, not mentally retarded), just bad parenting she called it, who can’t exhibit that impulse control. I was like, really? That made me feel so good not only about his potential but also b/c it was a “mama compliment”! I usually feel like I’m doing a poor job with Otto so it was sooooo good to hear her say the positives she saw. She said other wonderful things my ears and heart needed to hear but I won’t bore you and risk sounding like I’m puffing myself up. My only point was to share how God used her to encourage me and show me love especially during a rough week.
Some scripture that helped me feel stronger this week....2 Corinthians 12: 9,10, But he [Jesus] said to me [Paul], “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore [Paul talking], I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong!
I read that this week and thought, “Wow, Christ must be pretty powerful this week b/c I’m pretty weak!” LOL But it did make me feel better and little more empowered. :-)
Thanks to God for getting us through the week and showing once again how faithful and loving He is.
(I hear some guys are going back down to Aldama on Tuesday to do some work, please Lord let Aaron not have to go! LOL)