I wanted Aaron to come too so he could help me remember things that concern us and add his thoughts too. I’m so glad he did because not only did he do just that but he also was a support for me as this was a hard visit for me. Also, he helped me remember things she said, later on that day. It was emotional for me and so I didn’t really “hear” all she said.
For the first time we really got some honest and real answers. She, the doctor, really laid it all out for us! I think part of this now is because he’s 5 years old. Also I think it’s because of her specialty. Thank God we are here in TX to be able to see this doctor! When we were in MI, Otto’s pediatrician wanted us to see this kind of doctor but there wasn’t one in the Detroit-Metro area that took our insurance. I’ve mentioned this before too but also Otto receives speech and occupational therapy that he could not get in MI because of our insurance.
She sat with us for an hour and a half asking us question after question and answering ours!
After gathering all her data from us she showed us 5 categories: speech, fine motor, gross motor, self-help, and social. She gave us the age-equivalence of what Otto is able to do in each of these areas. While some were as low as a 2 yr old, some were up to a 3 and a half yr old. She told us that Otto is like a 3 yr old developmentally, and that he should be treated as a 3 yr old. While I knew in my head he was not developmentally a 5 yr old, to see these numbers in black and white just hurt in my heart. She said that Otto will only carry this label of Developmentally Delayed until he is 7 yrs old. At that point the label will change to Mental Retardation. As you can imagine at this point I was shocked and the tears began to flow. Now, I suspect all of you who know Otto well would think as we have that there’s no way he is that. However, many factors complicate things. There’s no way to determine his IQ at this point and speech and one of the other categories I can’t remember which one, are usually pretty good indicators of what the child can comprehend (his speech came in at a 2yr and 10mos old). I believe Otto knows more than he can say. Of course I’m not oblivious to the fact that I may be an over-optimistic parent that may have difficulty accepting the reality of her child if it falls below the hopes and dreams she has for that child. I’m praying that by age 7 he will prove what a lot of us know about him and all for God’s glory! The biggest unknowns for us to be able to rule out is Otto’s family history and birth history. One possibility (although unlikely) is that he could have a genetic disease that would lead to these delays but testing for those will be a last resort and really only for the knowledge of family planning for Otto down the road. In other words it would only be to know if there’d be something genetically that he could pass onto his own children.
Many of the things we described to the doctor would normally cause her to investigate ADHD however that will only be the case if we can rule out Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD). She said that all adoptive children need to be evaluated for this to see if they have it or not. HOW COME NO ONE HAS EVER TOLD ME THAT?! So she ordered a full psychological evaluation of him. Also she wants to add physical therapy to his therapies that he receives and finally she stressed very heavily (after we talked at length about school choices) that he be enrolled in a special education program (like he was last year), obviously through the public school system. I actually felt relieved at this because I’ve been questioning whether our school we provide here is best for Otto. I haven’t given up on my desires to homeschool (maybe that will be possible somewhere down the road) but for now he needs services that none of us can provide and that the public schools do a good job of! I’m praying he gets a very loving Christian teacher!
The doctor stressed an urgency since 7yrs old is only 2 yrs away! And I do understand what she is saying. Also though, Aaron and I were talking and our goal is to prepare this child for manhood and that at age 18 he is prepared to go on to college if he chooses. So after the initial shock of it all, I was comforted that God is in control as He always has been and always will be and that we desire His will whatever it may be, for His own glory and honor! Please join us in prayer for Otto that we may all agree for these things.....protection for Otto while in the public school and that by age 7 he blows everyone away with his abilities and improvements, in Jesus’ name.
Thank you Heavenly Father for this child and all that he has brought to our life. We surrender him to you, have your way with him, all for your glory!
