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Well, Otto’s been on medication for ADHD for almost a week now. We’ve definitely noticed a difference. In fact I took both boys to the grocery store today and did NOT put Otto in the cart, he walked alongside me. That never would have been possible before. He listens better for the most part. I still see the dramatic breakdowns (though much less often) and there is still some whining but all in all improved! So we are happy with that!
What’s next? We meet with a Geneticist on March 6 to rule out any genetic disorders. From there he will determine if we continue down the genetics testing route or if we go down the neurological testing route (to see if there’s permanent damage or reversible brain damage from his malnutrition as a baby). In the meantime, we are waiting about a month to let the medicine fully do what it’s gonna do. Then we can see what symptoms remain that we need to deal with and will begin therapy to learn how to deal. I’m looking forward to that.
Please continue to pray! ....that the brain damage is not permanent, that the medicine will help him to calm down and focus enough to take in more of the world around him and learn more and catch up, that when he is given an IQ test at age 6 in November he will score above 70 (below 70 is mentally retarded).
Also please pray for me and the boys this week....Aaron left for Mexico today until Friday, 6 days!!!!! Aaron and I are such a team with these boys, a support to one another, a break for each other, a real team! I’m so grateful for him and his humor and I miss him and his help terribly when he’s gone! Also that he comes home safely! :-) Thank you tons!
This picture is so characteristic of Otto. We were in a village in Mexico, playing a game of Duck, Duck, Goose (Pato, Pato, Ganso) with the children and Otto scoots right up next to this boy (Otto’s on the right), who was much younger than him and he had his arm around him but by the time I snapped the photo, his arm was down and on the ground. It was too cute! It was like Otto was making him feel comfortable b/c this boy didn’t want to come over at first and join in the game.
I posted on 12/8/07 about how we saw a specialist and she wanted a psychological evaluation done on Otto to see if he had Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) being that he was adopted, and then if not that...look into ADHD. Then I posted on 1/29/08 that we went and had the psych. eval. done and were waiting for the results. Well in the meantime things were just continuing to get worse here at home with Otto. He has been very hyperactive and has much difficulty following directions. I began to get impatient waiting to hear the results of the psych. eval. and called his regular physician to ask about an appt to look into ADHD. I was getting desperate for some help and some answers to explain, honestly, the past 3 years but even more so the past year as we’ve noticed things getting progressively worse behavior-wise. I met with the social worker at the doctor’s office yesterday (that’s their 1st step in the ADHD process, then you get an appt with the dr) and filled out a questionnaire that definitely ended up pointing right at ADHD. But we both agreed that there was definitely also something else going on to explain all the other things I described about Otto. It’s not uncommon to have ADHD paired up with something else. I was just dying to know what this something else was!!!!!!! Give me some answers!!!!!!!! In the meantime, mind you, we still were waiting on the results of the psych. eval. One of the things the social worker mentioned was Tourette’s Syndrome b/c of his tics or nervous habits we call them. I had to take a questionnaire for ADHD over to his teacher at school and she mentioned Tourette’s Syndr
ome and then a friend online who has a special needs child mentioned Tourette’s Syndrome and gave me a website to check out. I thought ok this is freaky that this has never been mentioned before to me but now 3 times in 1 day it got mentioned. So I checked out the site and began some research last night.
It definitely sounded like Otto’s little “things” he does. But then it said that Tourette-like tics can also be a symptom of some other things and it listed several including mental retardation. I thought, hmmmm this has been mentioned before to us (in December) so I decided to look it up and find out what it means exactly. So I did and looked at all the things that could cause it and of course there were many things including things at birth (which we have no info on) or family genetics (which we have no info on) and many other different things. Then down in the list I noticed “malnutrition” listed as one of the causes so I thought hmmmm....well we know he had that. So I went on to research that, what it means, the effects it can cause, etc. I learned that while some can fully recover from malnutrition, and some can even die, some can suffer mental retardation. In that moment, at the end of this lengthy trail of one thing leading to another as I was researching, I truly felt like this huge lightbulb went off. Otto’s malnutrition was serious enough that he was hospitalized for it, we do know that much. So how bad does it have to be to cause mental retardation? It just made so much sense and it seemed like several pieces of a puzzle fitting together. I was not convinced this was the answer yet, just found it all very interesting. I was sooooo curious now to see what the psychologist was gonna tell us from the psych. eval. b/c we had it done looking for one thing, RAD.
So this morning I called the psychologist and he finally had the report done from the psych. eval! He said that his diagnosis for Otto is mental retardation due to a severe deficiency of protein early on in his life. He said he feels that it’s a mild case and that it may be permanent or it may be reversible, some neurological tests may be able to help determine that (and of course tons of prayer for healing!). I couldn’t believe it!!!! He said exactly as was revealed to me last night in my research....mental retardation due to malnutrition!!! With the added bonus of....it’s only a MILD case of it!!!!!
It’s so crazy! I totally believe that God revealed that to me last night and I can see why He did. If I had not read all that I did and begin to put the pieces together last night, I believe I would have been devastated at his diagnosis this morning. I mean remember, I was waiting to hear if it was RAD or maybe ADHD. This would have been shocking to me to hear...mental retardation. But it wasn’t, I was totally prepared and all it did was confirm what I already strongly suspected through the research. I am in awe of how God loves me and knows me inside and out and He protects us from what we can’t handle and prepares us so that we can.
I am so utterly relieved to finally have answers. They may not be necessarily the ones I would have chosen, but they are answers nonetheless and we can finally move forward and learn how to parent this child right where he’s at. It has been such a trial the past 3 years wondering why is he still so far behind, something just doesn’t seem right in how he acts and reacts to certain things in certain situations. And now we know and now we can move forward and deal with it accordingly. I do not believe Otto is “sentenced” to this for life. Many of you who know him well may be shocked to hear this, thinking “but he is so smart?!” I believe God can heal and I believe God has a plan for Otto and maybe this is not permanent. God has Otto is His hands and I ask you with all my heart to keep Otto in your prayers and pray for healing and for God’s will in Otto’s life.
[4 years ago today, we chose Otto to be our son! ie: we contacted the adoption agency and said, “We love him, we want him!]
Yesterday we saw a specialist for Otto. We traveled 40 minutes to Edinburg to see a Developmental-Behavioral Pediatrician at the South Texas Child Development and Behavior Center. Otto’s pediatrician referred us, and we scheduled the appointment back in late September! I had been so excited to go and ask all my thousands of questions I still have even after 3 years of having this child and also some new ones that have arisen. Part of me felt a little skeptical that maybe this would just be one more time that we walk away and get some blanket answers like, “He’s just developmentally delayed!” and “Well, as long as he continues to improve...!”
I wanted Aaron to come too so he could help me remember things that concern us and add his thoughts too. I’m so glad he did because not only did he do just that but he also was a support for me as this was a hard visit for me. Also, he helped me remember things she said, later on that day. It was emotional for me and so I didn’t really “hear” all she said.
For the first time we really got some honest and real answers. She, the doctor, really laid it all out for us! I think part of this now is because he’s 5 years old. Also I think it’s because of her specialty. Thank God we are here in TX to be able to see this doctor! When we were in MI, Otto’s pediatrician wanted us to see this kind of doctor but there wasn’t one in the Detroit-Metro area that took our insurance. I’ve mentioned this before too but also Otto receives speech and occupational therapy that he could not get in MI because of our insurance.
She sat with us for an hour and a half asking us question after question and answering ours!
After gathering all her data from us she showed us 5 categories: speech, fine motor, gross motor, self-help, and social. She gave us the age-equivalence of what Otto is able to do in each of these areas. While some were as low as a 2 yr old, some were up to a 3 and a half yr old. She told us that Otto is like a 3 yr old developmentally, and that he should be treated as a 3 yr old. While I knew in my head he was not developmentally a 5 yr old, to see these numbers in black and white just hurt in my heart. She said that Otto will only carry this label of Developmentally Delayed until he is 7 yrs old. At that point the label will change to Mental Retardation. As you can imagine at this point I was shocked and the tears began to flow. Now, I suspect all of you who know Otto well would think as we have that there’s no way he is that. However, many factors complicate things. There’s no way to determine his IQ at this point and speech and one of the other categories I can’t remember which one, are usually pretty good indicators of what the child can comprehend (his speech came in at a 2yr and 10mos old). I believe Otto knows more than he can say. Of course I’m not oblivious to the fact that I may be an over-optimistic parent that may have difficulty accepting the reality of her child if it falls below the hopes and dreams she has for that child. I’m praying that by age 7 he will prove what a lot of us know about him and all for God’s glory!
The biggest unknowns for us to be able to rule out is Otto’s family history and birth history. One possibility (although unlikely) is that he could have a genetic disease that would lead to these delays but testing for those will be a last resort and really only for the knowledge of family planning for Otto down the road. In other words it would only be to know if there’d be something genetically that he could pass onto his own children.
Many of the things we described to the doctor would normally cause her to investigate ADHD however that will only be the case if we can rule out Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD). She said that all adoptive children need to be evaluated for this to see if they have it or not. HOW COME NO ONE HAS EVER TOLD ME THAT?! So she ordered a full psychological evaluation of him. Also she wants to add physical therapy to his therapies that he receives and finally she stressed very heavily (after we talked at length about school choices) that he be enrolled in a special education program (like he was last year), obviously through the public school system. I actually felt relieved at this because I’ve been questioning whether our school we provide here is best for Otto. I haven’t given up on my desires to homeschool (maybe that will be possible somewhere down the road) but for now he needs services that none of us can provide and that the public schools do a good job of! I’m praying he gets a very loving Christian teacher!
The doctor stressed an urgency since 7yrs old is only 2 yrs away! And I do understand what she is saying. Also though, Aaron and I were talking and our goal is to prepare this child for manhood and that at age 18 he is prepared to go on to college if he chooses. So after the initial shock of it all, I was comforted that God is in control as He always has been and always will be and that we desire His will whatever it may be, for His own glory and honor! Please join us in prayer for Otto that we may all agree for these things.....protection for Otto while in the public school and that by age 7 he blows everyone away with his abilities and improvements, in Jesus’ name.
Thank you Heavenly Father for this child and all that he has brought to our life. We surrender him to you, have your way with him, all for your glory!
These boys God has entrusted to me are now 5 and 2! What a joy and blessing it is to be their mom! (...also exhausting! LOL) They teach me so much about myself, God, the world around us. May God bless them immensely!
“Otto” means prosperous, wealthy. Isn’t his life so far evident of that? God has brought him out of poverty into a family full of love and the knowledge of a loving Saviour full of grace. God has already “prospered” Otto and made him “wealthy” and will only continue to do so. For He has plans to prosper Otto, plans to give him hope and a future (Jer 29:11)! Otto is such a compassionate young boy always concerned for everyone’s feelings, always ready to give a hug to whomever will receive it! In fact he is less interested in play and more interested in whatever the nearest person to him is doing, and that’s what he’d prefer to do (God knew Otto needed a brother, a buddy, and they are!). He is very cautious and structured, needing to know the order of the day, what comes next and then after that, to be prepared of course (in the morning he is already asking what I’m making for dinner!)! The night before he is already asking what we’re doing when we wake up (“Is it a school day, church day”)? He is also quite a goofball! He has Owen in stitches with goofy faces or antics often. I believe Otto’s love language is touch. I believe his gift is for people. I can not wait to see the plans God has for this little boy!
“Owen” means born to nobility. Oh, and isn’t he, born into the kingdom of God! Born into a family fully devoted to the kingdom of God. He was born happy, from his early days he was already so content to sleep through the night and hardly crab unless for good reason. He nursed well, took a pacifier well, and was not the least bit needy or demanding. He made all his ‘big’ transitions well...solids and sippy cup at 6 mos, never really used a bottle much, milk at 12 mos, moving several times in his 2nd year, sippy cup to a cup with no lid, and finally the big one just the other night - NO MORE PACIFIER! The first night he didn’t even cry once! There’s been a little crying since but nothing major! Praise God! Owen is packed full of confidence, enough for 4 people! He loves adventure, exploring, running free, taking risks....lots of them! He is a sucker for a smooch (on his fully puckered lips) from any of us. Owen is very sociable, with people he is familiar with, and very excitable! Everything is exciting to him! He always has a smile and a squeal for that which pleases him, which is just about everything! He’s not too far off before calling, “Otto, ‘om on!” He wants his buddy to accompany him on whatever adventure he’s headed for! Owen has a sweetness about him that draws you in underlying the “forge ahead” drive toward whatever! Look out, here he comes!
Otto and Owen compliment each other so well. Where one has weaknesses the other has strengths and vice versa. How perfectly God has given them to each another. Honestly I see a well made TEAM here between these 2 boys and I am praying to that end, that God is building them up as a team for His glory and honor and for the furthering of His kingdom! I’m so honored to be a part of their journey toward manhood and a relationship with their heavenly Father. My deepest prayer is that God will say to me with respect to being their mom, “Well done good and faithful servant!”
I just love when we get a new family photo done! We’ve never had a professional photo done of us or of either of the boys (Otto had a school picture done last year but that’s it!). It’s always just been one that someone took of us on an occasion when we were all dressed up or we set it up ourselves on the tripod and had someone just press the button! Nonetheless, whenever we’ve had some fresh photo done of us, it is like a very precious gift to me! I want to look at it all the time! It reminds me of how I felt on Christmas morning as a kid or when I received my wedding ring from Aaron on our wedding day or when we decided I would stay with Otto in Guatemala or when Owen was born. All of those moments were so exciting and rewarding and the excitement lasted long past just one morning as with “Christmas morning.” They were constant reminders when I would wake up, “Oh yeh, we’re married!” or “Oh yeh, we have a son!” or “Oh yeh, we have a baby!”
It may seem like hardly a comparison to just have a photo and speak of it alongside some of the most memorable moments of my life. But it’s not just the “picture” in and of itself. It’s what the picture represents...my family. All the moments we’ve shared...the highs and lows; the journey to each child; Aaron and my interesting/unique story of meeting (LOL), falling in love and marrying; our special “traditions”; us all cozying up in our pj’s at bedtime; all of the millions of moments, big and small that I wouldn’t trade for ANYTHING! The “picture” is the dearest representation to me of sweet joy and blessings. When I see a picture of us all, I just sigh and think, “I have so much!” I am reminded in this moment of how God our Father must look at us, his family, his children, with such sweet joy remembering all the millions of moments, big and small, good and bad, that He has shared with us...whether we acknowledged He was there or not.
As a child, my family looked like this. I have this photo hanging on my refrigerator. I love this picture! It represents so much to me...security, unity, love! I know what event we were at, that my mom made most if not all of our outfits we were wearing, I can picture what the ride home was probably like (our natural family banter, teasing and loving, maybe a little bit of my brother and I complaining about one another!). I am so thankful that I had a mom and a dad together in the same house who loved me! My heart just breaks for people who never knew this either as a child or even as a parent, to have your family together, whether by death or divorce.
We have a family who comes to our church who is fighting to make it. The husband is entangled in a mess of which I am not sure the details but it sounds like either alcohol or an affair. They have 2 boys, one is about 14 or 15 yrs old and the other is about 11 yrs old. It varies week to week whether Juan will come to church with his family or if Micki comes by herself with the boys. They always ask for prayer and I am so touched, my eyes watery every time they walk through the doors or ask for prayer or the many times we as a church body have laid hands on them in prayer. One time Juan even specifically asked for prayer saying he keeps knocking on the doors of hell. One time Micki came, after Juan had obviously left, and asked for wisdom in raising her boys alone. They are truly struggling to fight to stay together. It’s hard for him to say no to whatever it is that’s drawing him away, and to come home, and it’s hard for her to trust and forgive. It breaks my heart. Please pray for this family, Micki and Juan and their 2 boys.
I am so completely fulfilled caring for and loving my family, and I thank God for the sweet blessing He’s given me in Aaron, Otto, and Owen!
We took the kids to “the island” (South Padre) last night and just walked the beach til the sun went down and the full moon of bright pink rose on the horizon! So cool! Our walk revealed many treasures! We found tons of jellyfish both small and large! And pelicans! We found a big ‘ole freshly dead crab and many smaller ones that came out as the sun set. The water was so warm! Otto loved walking in the water. Owen kept squealing with joy at the waves and all the new things to find and explore but seemed leery of the water “getting” his feet! One of the boys’ favorite movies is Nemo so it was neat to talk through things we were finding and relating it to something they were already familiar with. I was in heaven! I love the ocean and it still awes me that I can come visit it whenever! Last night I found myself thinking, “I can’t believe I’m standing here!” Thanks to God for creating something so cool and placing me very near it! On Aaron’s blog, he has pix of the crab and jellyfish and also a couple good shots of the boys!
We’ve heard about how parrots migrate through our area and
it is the season for that! We saw the kind that are all green
yesterday and then again today! They are so loud!!!!! It sounds
like a bunch of screaming people outside! It’s that loud! Crazy!
The weather has been soooo much better here lately. It’s been in
the upper 70’s or low 80’s for about a week now! Such a nice
break! When the cold front first came in I remember walking to school that morning thinking, “oh man it’s gonna be a really hot one!” I classify the days around here as either hot or really hot! Later that morning while we were in school we heard very loud winds outside, opened the door, and it looked like a hurricane outside! And the temperature dropped to maybe the low 60’s! It felt freezing, in comparison! I thought it felt amazing! But the kids (Texans) begged to go get their coats! LOL And the evenings have been as low as the 40’s but mostly 50’s or 60’s! I’m loving it, did I mention that already?! LOL
Life here is great! I feel so blessed to be exactly where God wants us to be! I am very happy! Thanks to all who are praying for us! I feel them!
